Pinay pa ang kalug ko.

Translation: My soul is still Filipino.
(as a side note, kalug is a really fun word when you are talking quickly in Hiligaynon about the soul. The whole conversation sounds like it's taking place next to an old broken machine.)

As I ate dinner today, I unexpectedly had a strong urge to eat rice with my noodles and shrimp.  Almost 18 months ago, having recently returned from the Philippines, where they eat rice with every meal, this would have been an expected desire.  It's been quite a while since then, so I was rather surprised when I stopped and looked at my bowl of food and debated if it needed rice.  My skin is white, my hair is red, but every now and then I'm reminded that a part of my soul will forever be Filipino.

Now, as funny as this is, the experience turned me back to thoughts of my mission.  Even almost 18 months later, the Filipino part of my soul speaks up.  I'm reminded how I have changed, not just in terms of my appetite and my desire to speak Hiligaynon, but in who I am and my faith in the Lord.  The 18 months I spent in the Philippines helped teach me how much the Lord loves me.  I learned that He will always be there to help me when I feel like the road is too difficult.  I discovered that though I feel small and weak, I can still be an instrument in His hands, especially since most of what He wants me to do are just small, simple things that can change another person's life.

I'm so grateful that my soul will forever be a little Filipino, that I will want rice whenever I eat fish, and that I long to eat mangoes for breakfast.  These things helped me become who I am, and you know what, I like who I am.