Essence

For my world literature final, we were asked to present the essence of one of the works which we had read during the semester.  Basically, we were to come up with something that we felt captured the entirety of the work and allow others to find meaning through it.  My group chose to do The Odyssey, and this was what we had far to much fun discovering. (it should be noted, only the first 5 minutes of the video where shown in class.

And here is our write-up.  It probably doesn't appear all that funny, but we had fun writing it anyways, so I hope you enjoy at least learning of The Odyssey from it.

The essence of The Odyssey is found in the ocean. The ocean represents a consistent inconsistency found in both Odysseus and Homer’s outlook on human nature. Odysseus stays consistent in his purpose of returning home to Penelope and Telemachus. However, his promptness varies like the waves of the sea. For example, he has a desire to get home, but when he approaches the island of the kyklops the adventure delays his primary purpose. Other examples of consistent inconsistency are his love for Penelope compared to his lust for other women and the thrill of travel compared to the stability of the islands. The different islands, as part of the ocean, are representative of stages in life discovered in the different parts of the journey. They can also signify the situational inconsistency of human beings despite their consistent personality traits. The journey through the ocean symbolizes development. This is seen in comparing Telemachus and Penelope. Penelope, living on land, embodies the very idea of stability by showing little development throughout The Odyssey. Telemachus is initially stable, yet he experiences growth as he starts his journey on the ocean. Athena tells him to “go abroad for news of your lost father…you are a child no longer” to encourage him to make his journey so that he can grow and develop (193-194). However, extended development on the ocean leads to the stormy, wild personality that we see in Odysseus when he returns home. This can be contrasted to Penelope’s calm demeanor developed while on land. The ocean therefore is the essence of character development throughout The Odyssey and the consistent inconsistency found within it demonstrates Homer’s outlook on human nature.

Names for Remembering

For readers from other countries: On December 14th, 2012, a gunman walked into an elementary school and killed 26 individuals, mostly children 6 or 7 years old.  Stories have covered the news across the nation of their massacre.  The evil of the world has once again seeped into the sun-lite lives of children, cutting them short.  But at this time, we can remember: the candle seems brightest during the dark of night.  For those filled with fear and sorrow, feeling the darkness of the world is engulfing you, I promise you that candles still light this world, showing us where goodness can be found.  Light your own candle, for where the light is, darkness cannot remain.

I do not know the name of the gunman, I have not taken the time to look it up and remember. One does not deserve to be remembered for such acts.  Click here for the names worth remembering, them and their families.  Remember them, even if it is just one, and remember that there is good in this world if we will stand for it.

Friends are like...

...sunshine, they warm your life.
...potatoes, if you eat them, they die.
...colored pencils, they help you complete the picture.
...four leaf clovers, hard to find and lucky to have.
...stars, you can't always see them, but you know they are always there
...snowflakes, each one is unique.

And I'm sure the list can go on and on.  The point is, friends are important.  The value of friendship has resulted in an endless collection of friendship jewelry, literature on how to make and keep friends, and decorative doodads for hanging on walls reminding you of everything friends are like.  Friends matter.

But as brilliant as all the quotes are, not one truly describes what my friends mean to me.  Analogies just aren't sufficient for including all the detail.  At least, no analogy I can think of.  This is what my friends are like, and if you can think of an analogy, feel free to comment.

Friends aren't like, they just are...
...those people who will stay up till 4 am with me just to watch Doctor Who.
...individuals who realize that star-less nights are stormy, so they make sure they can still be seen when the clouds roll in.
...those who know me well enough to know that Filipino food makes me forget all my problems.
...people who laugh at my physics jokes, either because they have no idea what I said and are just humoring me, or because they understood it perfectly and it really was that funny. (spherical trig is like a piece of a jaw-breaker).
...those who ask how my day is and then really listen to the answer.

Red Hair

Today was one of those really difficult sort of days. (Counting today as the past 24 hours, since I still haven't gone to bed). I woke up just not in the mood to go to school.  I got a really bad headache.  I've dealt with a myriad of computer problems while trying to use my computer to do homework.  And the list could go on.

As I came home for my lunch break, I ran into a good friend who spent the time with me just listening to everything that needed to be said.  He then taught me a very important lesson on perspective.  After hearing out my long list of problems, he responded, "Sounds like you've had a pretty rough day, but it's okay cuz you have red hair." (for those of you unaware, I dyed my hair red for Halloween and it hasn't washed out yet).  I laughed at his remark, wondering what red hair had to do with anything.

Several hours (and several problems) later, the lesson finally sunk in.  What does red hair have to do with anything? It doesn't! And in the long run, neither does homework or computer problems or bad days.  To those who have asked, I've described my day as being "pretty good," figuring pretty good covers those days where not everything has gone wrong, but today really was pretty good.  I made it to all my classes, got all my homework done (even if not till 4 in the morning), watched Sherlock, ate Filipino food for lunch, had a chance to talk with really good friends, and I have red hair.

All Beginnings have an End

A couple months ago, I began teaching at the Missionary Training Center.  Shortly after that, my first district (group) of missionaries came in.  I look back on that day, greeting them in Hiligaynon, watching their faces as they tried to understand, seeing them change.  For 9 weeks, I've watched them grow from teenagers to representatives of the Lord Jesus Christ.  I feel so blessed from this opportunity.

From them I have learned of faith, the faith it takes to do what you must when you know you can't.  I've learned patience as I've watched them deal with adjusting to the personalities they were surrounded with.  I saw sins lead to repentance, intolerance grow into charity, and fear become the ability to rely on the Lord.  

For them, I have changed.  Every week is filled with ideas of what I can do better to serve and help them.  Every day is filled with preparation on study to know better what I am to teach.  Every second (at least an attempt at every second) is laced with alterations to better live what I've learned.  I've come to understand the path of change is much longer than I can imagine.  

Work began, I changed, I grew.  But beginnings lead to ends.  That was today.  I taught them for the last time today, Monday they will get on a plane and fly to the Philippines and change others lives, just as they have changed mine. 

Good Luck, Elders!

Watching Hummingbirds

As I sat outside my apartment, reading as usual, my eye was caught by a hummingbird.  It floated in and out of the large, red flowers in the courtyard.  Even comparing it to the flowers, it looked fragile and delicate.  I was distracted from my reading for several minutes, just watching it.  Even after it flew away, my thoughts took their time returning to my book.  What I thought instead was red flowers, green leaves, the hum of wings, and the cool breeze of the morning. The world I live in can be so beautiful.

I read, sometimes, to escape the world.  Yet this moment of life was too vivid to be caught in black words on white paper.  The world does not always need to be escaped.  It is not to be consumed or observed or described.  It is to be experienced. 

The hummingbird returned, this time with another.  I watched them play, soft brown against bright green.  The flowers became an adventure to them.  I was once again caught in the moment and filled with joy to know the hummingbird was not alone.

End of Summer

It's 2 a.m.  I can't sleep.  Therefore- I blog.  But considering how very long it's been since I've last written, I figure it's probably a good idea. It's pretty good timing as well.  Summer term ended about a week ago.  I've had plenty of time now to reflect on that adventure that has passed.  Fall semester starts in about a week.  I'm at a lovely turning/restarting point in the year; the eager and excited feelings have taken hold.

So, some of the things I've learned since returning to school and "normal life" :
1. American Heritage.  This class was a challenge and a half, and I made it no easier on myself by taking it in the summer and through the honors program.  Yet I feel I've grown from the experience.  Because of this class, I've learned that essays sometimes just sound better in a different language, but my writing skills have improved by challenging myself to only write in a language my professor can understand.  I also discovered something I haven't felt in a while- the feeling of working yourself to the bone to earn an A, barely getting it, and feeling it was more deserved than any other grade this term.  I guess I really put myself out of my comfort zone (which consists of stars and night time) and learned something from it.  Cool- no?
2. Friends.  I've been reminded that there are people in this world that you will come to trust and rely on who will turn around and leave you lonely faster than you can blink.  But I've been taught that there really are people in this world who will love you and care about you for the person that is you.  There are people who want to be your friend.  There are people who are good.  I feel so blessed to have met them.
3. Change.  There are several things about myself I don't particularly like.  The past few months, with the help of several people, I came to realize that those don't have to be permanent parts of myself. (I've kinda always known this, but the understanding is slowly dawning on me)  So, I changed... a little bit... or at least tried to.  But the point is, I can do it, and I am doing it.  And through this, I'm starting to understand why Heavenly Father loves me so much even though I'm so far from perfect.

Unexpected

Every now and then, the unexpected happens.  Every now and then, something we really desire happens.  Every now and then, those are the same things.

Shortly after returning home from my mission, I applied to teach at the Missionary Training Center.  It was a job I never expected to get; it was a dream I never thought to attain. Yet as my bracelet states, "dreams become reality, one choice at a time."  I chose, I turned in an application, and I start work on Monday. 

This gives me the opportunity to help others as they start on their big adventures. I'll be helping missionaries prepare to dedicate a portion of their lives to the Lord's work. I'm so excited.

Doctrine and Covenants 18:10,15-16

Remember the worth is great in the sight of God... 

And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be, one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! 

And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be you joy if you should bring many souls unto me!

The Next Adventure

As one adventure in our lives ends, another begins, pushing us every forward. Much like the front of my journal declares "Life is a series of thousands of tiny miracles" (Mike Greenberg). My current adventure has been the journey of returning to life as a college student.  This journey is occasionally a simple scenic path, and often a steep uphill climb.

Some adjustments are easy to make. I've quickly readjusted to my former sleep pattern, going to bed late and waking up later. I've also found adjusting to the state of being busy and having lots of homework has been rather simple. Sliding back into being a student went smoothly and I'm beginning to feel again like I understand (to a degree) who I am.

Other adjustments have been significantly more problematic.  I frequently wander around the apartment trying to find my companion, only to recall that I don't have one.  It's strange how alone one can feel when they don't have someone who is assigned to remain with them 24/7.  Speaking English is an unexpected challenge. It fortunately is a rare one, but thoughts still come out of my mouth sometimes before all the words are verified as being English.

It's fun: the challenge, the difficulty, the adventure. My path isn't particularly clear, and I don't know what's around each turn. But I know that the destination will be beautiful.

Family

Being home is sometimes strange.  Yet this past week, I've had many opportunities to recognize the greatest blessing of being home... being with my family.

These are the people who realize just how crazy I am. Though my mother often thinks I'm perfect, it hasn't taken till now for her to be reminded of many of my flaws.  My brothers and I don't always get along. Life isn't golden every hour of the day.  Yet I have enjoyed, so very much, the time that I've had with my family these past two weeks (can you believe I've been home for that long).

We've had the chance to celebrate my brothers 25th birthday, and my dad's 50th. We've had pizza night and ice cream night.  My family has re-watched a few of their favorite movies from the past year so that I can see them, including over 4 hours last Wednesday to get in both halves of Harry Potter 7.  They taught me how to play Risk and slaughtered me both times we played (though I did do much better the second time).

It's been just two weeks. Sometimes it feels long, sometimes short. Yet in that time, regardless of it's apparent length, I have had the chance to just be with my family.  To get mad at people, or have people get mad at me, over a silly game of Phase 10. To have my dad take care of me after nearly passing out.  To talk.  I love my family, even if, and perhaps because, they get on my nerves every now and then.

Culture Shock

Over a year ago, I had to adjust from the clarity of American culture to what felt like the chaos of the Filipino culture.  It took only a matter of days for me to begin to feel comfortable with the difference.  Over the next several months, I learned the little nuances of the culture, like how it's not rude to say someone has gotten fat or thin, or how it's perfectly normal for a complete stranger to ask you were you are going and why.  I adjusted to the unusual-ness of people staring at me and believing me to be gorgeous for no reason beyond my pale skin and blue eyes.  I even learned how to explain (In hiligaynon) what a freckle is and how it won't come off no matter how long a little kid will scratch at it.  Amat-amat... I mean, little-by-little... I became Filipino, if not in appearance, in heart.

Now I have to do it again backwards.  Have you ever noticed how weird America is?  If you are inside of a building, it's cold, even if it's hot outside.  People keep their windows closed, you can't hear what's going on outside.  No one comes walking down the street selling balut and other local snacks.  And perhaps the most difficult, they all speak English.  I have to think really hard to make sure I don't use words like huya, gani, bawal, or sige.  I miss the Philippines. I miss rice. 

But don't get me wrong, America is amazing!  I get the blessed opportunity to adjust to the fact that hot water comes out of faucets.  You can flush toilet paper down the toilet.  And no one thinks you're weird if you want to eat cereal and milk for breakfast instead of rice. Oh- and stop lights!... they exist, AND they work. Isn't it beautiful.

Palangga ko and bansa ko, pero palangga ko man ang dating bansa ko. Gusto ko lang mag-ilonggo.

OUCH!

May 6, 2012

You know, it kinda hurts when a ton of bricks hits you.  Obviously, I've known that I'm close to going home, but I've done my best to ignore the fact.  Unfortunately, that fact has now slapped me in the face and refuses to go away. My mission is almost over and I can't really pretend otherwise anymore.  The mission president's wife asked me what I want for my "last supper," I've been sent my scheduled time for my departure interview, and my mom keeps asking me for all the details I don't want to think about (I love you, Mom!).  I can't pretend anymore.

It may seem strange to you, but leaving the mission is much harder than leaving America was.  When I walked away from my family in the airport, I knew it wouldn't be too long till I saw them again. When I saw the lights of LA disappear behind me as we flew out over the dark Pacific, I knew I'd be back eventually.  Before the week is up, I'll get on a bus and watch Kalibo slip away, not knowing if I'll ever see those people again.  Then I'll get on a plane and see the whole Philippines fade in the distance.  When I land, I won't be allowed to speak Hiligaynon anymore, no one will understand. I won't be able to use Tagalog or Aklanon or Kinaray-a, I only have one language option again. No one will stare at me, they won't shout and try to get my attention.  I'll be normal again. I'm not sure if I still know how to do that. 

It hurts. It really does. It hurts to know that it will all be over and I'll never get it again.  For the past 18 months, I've been an active part of helping people change their lives.  I've spent every waking minute thinking of how I can bring others closer to Christ.  I've been a missionary!  I only have one more week of it, and then it's gone.  I'm excited to go home, but I wish I could stay. I feel as much like I'm leaving my home as I feel like I'm going back to it. The next time I write, I'll be in America. It's just weird.

Kana ako, pero hasta sa panit lang, Pinay daw ako so sulod. Masakit ang pagpuli. Ayaw ko.

Balut!

April 29, 2012

This week has been lots of fun. One of the most exciting adventures was when my new companion, Sister Fowles, wanted to try balut, a fertilized duck egg.  This is something I've had several times throughout my mission; I think it's really delicious.  She first decided to try it last week, so when we saw someone selling it, she bought one and I went ahead and bought one too so she had someone to eat with. We got home and she was very nervous and excited to eat her balut.  We both sat down at the table, picked one up, and started peeling our eggs.  Having eaten it before, I was much quicker at opening it. This distracted Sister Fowles from her's, she kept looking at mine to see what it looked like.  She finally focused and opened her egg... and it wasn't balut. It was penoy- which is just a duck egg, the person selling it accidentally gave her the wrong egg. This week, we had "take two" of trying balut.  This time, I intentionally bought penoy because I had never tried it before and wanted too.  My companion's egg was actually balut and she enjoyed it very much.

One Monday, we also had the unique opportunity to attend the Pina Fiber Festival. The Pina Fiber is the world's finest fiber. Here in Kalibo, they have a small festival and local craft fair to sell and display products made from the fibers and other local souvenirs. There were people selling homemade paper, natural soap, handmade jewelry, and clothing and cloth made from the pina fiber.  This cloth, as it is made from such a unique fiber, was being sold at an outrageous price.  Even converting it into American dollars to try to lower the apparent price didn't help.  We wandered around the fair, buying other crafts and trying to find someone selling a piece of pina fabric at an affordable price.  We finally discovered small handkerchiefs made of the fabric. Figuring these 8 inch squares wouldn't be too unreasonable, we asked the price, then Sister Patricio kindly bartered down the price so that it was reasonable and we bought them.  It was fun.  We came home with lots of pretty things made in the Philippines. 

Well, those are my fun adventures this week. Abo karanasan iya nga wa' sa iban lugar.

Language

April 22, 2012

These past few weeks, I've had the opportunity to be companions with a new missionary.  As of now (April 23rd), she has been in the Philippines for 19 days.  This means, in contrast to my past two companions who were both Filipino, she doesn't know how to speak Hiligaynon.  The past few weeks have been filled with adventures and trials relating to her difficulty in learning the language.  I can't help but think back to those first few weeks of my mission and the similar challenges I faced. Having this opportunity to work with someone so new allows me to really ponder who I was back then and what I can do to help her now so that she is even better than me when she gets to my point.

Looking back, I remember the frustration of not understanding anything.  I recall feeling useless as all I did each lesson was bear a three-sentence, memorized testimony.  I look back with understanding on that girl who sat on the kitchen counter, the balcony, the bathroom, anywhere to feel a little more alone, as I mourned my lack of language skills and what I considered to be several weeks of no progression.  I finally see what I did do, I finally see where I have come.  I feel now that I stand near the top of a mountain, finally able to see the height I've reached and how many trials I've overcome to get here.  And now I'm even more blessed with the chance to help someone else start the climb.  I sometimes inform her of trials awaiting her, I'm not sure how much she appreciates that, but at least it's good to be here, to help her through the ones she's currently dealing with. 

Most especially, I'm grateful for those who did this for me, and my way to pay back the kindness I received by offering it again to another.  I say something simple like "you can do it" or "I know how you feel" and wonder if it helps at all. Then I remember those who said it to me, and I know that it did when they said it, so maybe it helps when I say it too.

Indi siya hapos, pero indi siya impossible. Matahum ang panawan sa taas.

Little Miracles

April 15, 2012

Life in the mission field is filled with little daily miracles.  This week, we had one that reminded me of the power of prayer.

Last Wednesday, we visited an investigator who is way excited to be baptized.  The only problem is that she and the man she is living with are not yet married.  As members of the church, we believe this to be contrary to the commandments of Heavenly Father.  In order to be baptized, we must be doing our best to follow his commandments.  So, when we visited them on Wednesday, we shared this commandment and invited them to follow it.  The response wasn't one we had been expecting. Sister began crying, explaining that she's been taught by missionaries before and has always wanted to be baptized, but can't be because the guy she is living with doesn't want to get married.  He then explained how he wasn't sure if he really felt the church was true and didn't want to deal with the persecution of being a member, that's why he didn't want to get married so she couldn't get baptized. We did our best to understand his concern, but felt like we made little progress by the time the lesson ended.  We left them with the invitation to discuss this with each other and decide what they wanted to do. Since then, nearly every prayer has been a plea for help for this family. 

We returned this Wednesday, but the husband seemed to be in a bad mood, so I didn't bring up the issue again.  I was afraid it would just make the situation worse. My new companions (who weren't there for the first lesson) joined me in my prayers to know how we can help Brother open his heart to the gospel.

We then came back on Saturday.  I knew I needed to follow up on the invitation we left with them.  I was very nervous to do so, fearing it would cause Brother to be in a bad mood.  I finally asked them if they had talked about getting married.  To my great surprise, Sister smiled and said they were already planning on it.  She had found extra work to save up enough money for the paper work (the paper work costs about 500 pesos) and Brother was going to work that next week to. They had helped someone harvest rice so that they would have extra rice and not need to buy as much. They were both excited about the idea of being baptized and began asking questions about if it could be at the church and if the bishop could be the one to marry them.  It really helped to build up my testimony that Heavenly Father really answers all of our prayers. 

Isa ka adlaw-adlaw nga milagro lang.

Hello World!

April 8, 2012

This week has been a great week, but certainly nothing like any previous week I've ever had. Every day was crazy!

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were difficult because another sister's companion went home. As missionaries, we are never allowed to be alone, so my companion and I worked with her for these days. It was actually really fun to spend time with one of my old companions.

Thursday we took an unexpected trip down to Iloilo.  My companion was transferring and the other sister was told she would be training, so she needed to be down in time for a meeting early the next morning.  We got down to the mission office and I was informed that I would also be training, so therefore also needed to be at the meeting. It was so surprising.

Friday was the transfer meeting.  I found out who my "bata" was (the sister I'll be training) and we had a meeting about how to be a trainer.  I'm so excited. My new companion is amazing. In addition to her, we got another companion, making us a trisome! This is the first time I've really been in a trisome. Upon getting home later that afternoon, we had to rearrange lots of furniture to make sure the three of us all fit nicely into the house. Finally, tired and warn out, my companions started unpacking and then gave up and we all went to bed.

Saturday and Sunday were amazing! Due to time differences, General Conference (which was broadcast live on March 31st and April 1st) is shown a week late- meaning this past weekend. It was so amazing.  I really felt like I was told exactly what I've been needing to here.  I'm really looking forward to getting the Church's Magazine- the Liahona- where the talks will be published so that I can read them!

Well, that's all for my crazy week. See you again next week!

Palangga Ko Kamo!

Easter

April 1, 2012

This is the week leading up to Easter. I remember as a child always loving Easter for the colorful baskets full of candy and a chocolate rabbit.  As I've grown and gained an understanding of what Easter means, it has come to be a very special time of the year.  Here in the Philippines, Easter Sunday itself isn't really celebrated.  They focus on Thursday and Friday.  I'd like to explain why all three days are important to me and to the whole world.

Thursday- On this day, Christ and his apostles went to a garden called Gethsemane.  There, Jesus knelt and prayed to His Father.  It was there, in the garden, that he took upon himself the pains and sins of the world.  We learn from the Book of Mormon, "and he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this tat the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people" (Alma 7:11). His suffering was so great that he bleed at every pore and begged that he might not have to suffer. Yet for us, he submitted to the will of Heavenly Father and suffered for each of us. Through his suffering, we have the opportunity to repent and not suffer ourselves for our sins (Doctrine and Covenants 19:16-19).

Friday- After Christ suffered for us, he was arrested and judged on false charges.  He was ridiculed, tortured, and sentenced to be crucified.  His death fulfilled prophesies made from the beginning of time by prophets in both the Bible and the Book of Mormon. With his death, his sacrifice for us was completed.

Sunday- On this day, Jesus Christ rose from the dead to become the first resurrected being.  As two women named Mary came to visit the tomb, the angel declared to them "He is not here; for he is risen" (Matthew 28:6). No suffering occurred on this day.  The importance of this event is beyond my ability to describe.  Christ's resurrection makes everything else worthwhile. It proved his godhood and divinity.  If he hadn't risen, his suffering and death would have been in vain, for it would have proved that he was no more than mere mortal. But He lived again and he still lives today.  Through the power of his resurrection, we shall all live again to be given the opportunity to return to our Father in Heaven.  

I know that Jesus is the Christ.  He suffered and died for us so that we may overcome all forms of suffering and death that we experience as mortal beings. I know that this is the central principle of God's entire plan for each of his children on earth.  As you prepare for and celebrate Easter this year, think not only of the eggs and chocolate and marshmallow chickens. Remember our Lord and Savior, accept his invitation to repent and become new through the sacrifice he has already made for you.

Kasayod ko raya.

End of March

March 25, 2012

Since I've transferred to Kalibo, I've told every one that I have three months left of my mission. Last night someone asked me again, then asked specifically what months. I told them March, April, and May. They laughed at me and pointed out that March is over. I say it's still March so I still have three months left of my mission. I know- I'm kinda stubborn.

Anyways- It's been another great week.  One of the members invited us over for "Language Study" and we had a great time learning Aklanon.  It's fun stuff. It doesn't feel as hard as everyone says it is, the only difficult thing is remembering to us it. It so much easier to not think and speak Hiligaynon.  We also spent a morning helping our Bishop (the local church leader) and his family pull weeds in their front yard.  I love doing service work, it's just very relaxing.

Last night, we had a chance to go over to the home of the Couple missionaries (an older couple who is also serving in Kalibo, typical missionaries are individuals in their early 20's).   We had a short spiritual message and delicious food.  The message was about noticing the tender mercies of the Lord.  Tender Mercies are different from typical blessings in their timing.  Blessings are given to us every day, the food we eat, the homes we live in, etc.  Tender mercies are those special blessings that come to us just at the right time.  It is the way we really feel the Lord's love for us.  They are not just random or mere coincidence, these are the little things that make our day and lift our spirits when we feel warn out.  The opportunity to eat with the older missionaries was, for me, a tender mercy.  Sunday morning started at a rushed pace and from there I never felt like I really had a chance to relax.  Like most Sundays, I had a retched headache and it wasn't helped by one of the members children deciding to be extra load throughout Sunday school class.  I had already known about the dinner appointment, so it wasn't a huge surprise.  The blessing came from walking into their house and being greeted with the smell of fresh muffins, chicken soup, and warm smiles.  It was a very simple meal, a very simple lesson, but it's timing touched my spirit, calmed my nerves, and left me with the reminder that Heavenly Father knows when I will have bad days and has already planned how to help me through them.

Kilala Niya ikaw kag palangga Niya ikaw. Importanta ka Kana.

Sick Again!

March 18, 2012

I've managed to get sick again.  It seems to be a regular part of my life as a missionary.  It's just a cough, but it's interesting how much a simple cough can wear one out when they are trying to go out and walk all over Kalibo every day.  

Anyways- this week was really great. we had a few days where we had basically no lessons the whole day. The funny thing about it is that all of our investigators were busy for the same reason. On Wednesday, all of our investigators were at a meeting at the near by school that didn't get out till 5. So, we had lessons after 5, but until then we were going from house to house trying to find anyone who was home.  Friday, for some reason beyond my understanding, they all decided to go to Iloilo.  I asked around to see what was going on in Iloilo, there must be something exciting because everyone was there, but I couldn't figure out what it was.  Yesterday (sunday) they just all weren't home.  My companion has a theory for this one.  While at church, many of the members who heard me speak in my lovely raspy voice offered their advice on how I can most quickly get better.  Most of them told me to not worry about appointments but to go home and rest and visit them today.  Today is Preparation Day- the only day we don't visit investigators- so that wasn't really an option. I felt like I was doing okay so I told my companion that we would head out and work anyways.  No one was home. We thought of a few other people we could visit, like members who hadn't been at church.  None of them were home either.  My companion turned to me and told me it was a sign from Heavenly Father that I really ought to be resting so I can get better.  So we went home, ate spaghetti, and enjoyed the evening resting. It was probably a good thing, I'm feeling significantly better now, but I'm still on mission-presidents orders to visit a doctor.  That's really all for the week, so I'm going to head off now and get healthy, hopefully.

bukon kamo masakit man, palihog!

500

March 11, 2012

Guess What! I've been a missionary for 500 days as of today. Isn't that weird.

sorry- that's really all I have time for today. I promise- you'll have a better email next week.

Dahan!

No P

March 4, 2012

...and no mouse either. Both the P key on the keyboard and the left click on the mouse of the computer I'm on don't really want to work. If I want to use either I have to push them really hard two or three (or four) times. It's kinda driving my crazy, so my email might not be as long as normal because I want to stop typing.

Anyways. This week has been pretty good. One of the biggest highlights of the week was the free food! I like free food. But more than the free food, it was the feeling of belonging that really lifted me up. Earlier in the week I met one of the recent converts, Brother Gumban, and his wife who is also a member. I could tell within minutes that they really loved the missionaries who baptized Brother. At the end of the lesson, they invited us to come over for lunch on Sunday after church. The lunch was fun and simple. I know that I will never replace those missionaries who initially started teaching brother, but I felt like the family really has a desire to make me a part of their lives too. They are so sweet and loveable.

The next was later Sunday evening. It was really an answered prayer. I've been praying and trying to get to know all the members in the ward. A few nights ago, after an appointment cancelled on us, I felt like I should have my companion take me to the nearest member, not even knowing who it was. I was introduced to Sister Jasmine. Sunday afternoon, Sister Jasmine called and invited us to dinner with them and a few other members in the ward. We went to the restaurant of Jasmine's sister-in-law, sister Annie. It was closed, so I felt super special that we were the only ones there. Just one table was still set up and it was completely covered in Sister Annie's specialties. She made me mashed potatoes and Filet Mignon wrapped in bacon, it was amazing. Best of all, I had the opportunity to meet and really get to know more of the members.

I've been struggling a little the past week. I know I don't have much time left and I see that there is lots of work to do in this area. I've been feeling like I need to completely set aside who I am (someone who prefers not to talk much and enjoys just being by herself most of the time) in order to do what I feel needs to be done. I've gotten to know most members as I've had companions who are good at talking to members and I can just come along and listen to them talk. I don't have enough time to do that. I've been wondering and even doubting if I could do all I need to do in the short time I have. I've been wondering if I could spend three months NOT being myself. In church, however, I was reminded that Heavenly Father doesn't ask us not to be ourselves. He asks us to be our best selves. I realized that the person I am may not typically talk to very many people, but I do talk a lot to those I love and am close to. I don't have to learn how to be someone else, all I have to do is learn how to love the members as our Father in Heaven does and I'll be able to be myself around them- the talkative version of myself.

Kaya Ko!

Broken Eggs

February 26, 2012

Friday was transfer day! This means lots of things changed. My former companion is now training (I'm so excited for her!) and I'm now in a new area! Kalibo 2nd Ward! My journey to Kalibo was interesting. I woke up Friday morning for a 2 hour ride into the city for the transfer meeting and then took a 4.5 hour bus ride out to Kalibo. It was so long. In addition, the road was too bumpy and curvy to read, so it felt even longer. But, despite the long ride, I survived and am now in Kalibo.

Kalibo is the northern-most part of the island, quite a distance away from Iloilo. This means (because we are in the Philippines) that they speak a different language! Isn't it so nice how you can drive for days across America and get out of the car and still understand people. I'm serious- I sat in a bus for four hours and it's a completely different language. Fortunately, they mostly understand Hiligaynon, so I can still teach, I just can't understand them. Either way, I've lost track of how many languages I've learned on my mission, so for those of you who remember, just +1 to my current number. I'm excited to learn Aklanon. The missionaries say it's way hard to learn, but the members tell me it is easy. I'm not sure if I'll speak it very well by the time I leave, but I hope I can at least understand it completely. The grammar structure seems the same, it's just another change of vocab. As a child, I always wanted to be bilingual, thought it would be sooooo cool to be tri-lingual, never imagined more than that. I feel so blessed for this opportunity to learn so many languages. Hopefully I can continue to keep them all separate in my head so and not forget any of them. It's really hard to speak just one language now, I can't do it at all with English, I'll start a sentence in English and finish it in something else. My sincerest (advanced) apologies for all of you who won't understand half of what I say when I get home.

Anyways, something interesting I learned the other day during my studies:

The past few weeks, I've been trying to develop more patience. The more I work on this, the more I realize that it will take much longer than a few weeks. I came across a conference talk that really helped me to see how I can be more patient. The talk is from October 2010 conference and is titled Rest Unto Your Souls by Per G. Malm. Near the end of the talk, he shares a story about his grandmother. She sent one of her kids to the store to buy eggs. The child walked to the store, bought the eggs, and walked home. With the neglect children typically show towards eggs, many of the eggs were broken by the time the return trip was completed. A visiting neighbor advised the grandmother to scold the child for not being more careful. But, responding as wise grandmothers typically do, she said, "No, that will not make the eggs whole again."

That line really hit me as I read it. As I looked back on moments that I felt I was being very impatient, I realized that my reaction did nothing to make the situation better. My attitude wasn't making the eggs whole again. I've decided to make that phrase- "No, that will not make the eggs whole again"- a part of my life. Hopefully, through remembering it, I can better control my reactions, only reacting in ways that can actually improve the situation.

Bukon, bukon imaw obrahon nga manging bilog ro itlog liwan.
isang pang wika bago umuwi ko!

Refflesia

February 19, 2012

The missionaries in the Antique district have been working very hard for the past several months to make sure that our area books (binders containing information about the area we are serving in and the people we are visiting) are always updated and that our apartments are kept to the highest standard of cleanliness. As a reward, our mission president approved a zone activity for this p-day. We decided that we wanted to go on a hike to see many of the beauties of nature that are we are surrounded with. With this thought in mind, many did research and the resulting activity was taking a hike to see the Refflesia flower.

The Refflesia genus is the largest species of flowers in the world, though it is more technically a parasite than a flower. It grows on vines in remote jungles. There are several species of the Refflesia, one of which is found only in Sibalom, Antique, and this is the one we visited. The plants smell horrible to attract insects and small animals which they supposedly eat (I'm not sure, the poster says they eat rats but the local guides say that they don't). The smell is strong enough that you can smell the plants before seeing them, though not so bad that you can't stand around and get a million pictures. The flowers get much bigger in rainier seasons, and other species are known to get as large as 5 feet in diameter. The ones we saw were maybe a foot and a half, but that doesn't change the fact that I can now say I've seen the largest type of flower in the world.

The hike in general was just wonderful. Like I said before, it was mostly just a great chance to see the beauty of the Philippines. The hike was gorgeous. We walked through a forest of coconut, banana, and bamboo, along with a million other plants that I can't even describe. We actually got high enough in altitude to see a few pine-type-trees. I feel so blessed that I've been given the opportunity to serve in paradise. Sorry I can't include all the pictures I took, but I hope you enjoy these 5. And now you can say you've seen a picture of the largest flowers in the world.

Just an update on life- still breathing.

Sorry, I know it's kinda lame. This past week has been wonderful, and I would love to tell you about it all, but at the same time, those things which make it most wonderful are those little things that happen nearly every week and every day. They are those things you really have to experience. Moments of laughter, surprise, and joy that comes from serving the Lord. How I wish I could share every day with you, yet you wouldn't understand. I can't put it into words, and if I try, it's Hiligaynon.

Next time I email you, I might not be in Antique any more. Transfers occur this Friday. I've been here for 6 months now and this Wednesday I might be told to leave. It's going to be hard. I've been in the Philippines for 13 months now and in just 3 months I will be told to leave. It's going to be really really hard. It's strange to think how just over a year ago I knew nearly nothing about this country, yet now so much of my life is here. I haven't just lived here for a random year, but a year in which I've changed and grown so much. This place is filled with memories. Things from bamboo to rocks to tricycles to babies with black hair and flat noses. It all means so much. I want to share it all with you, but there just aren't words. There really just aren't words.

Ambay kun paano makapanaw ako. Ayaw ko.

Successes of the Week

February 12, 2012

This week was really fun, but it was also really hard. Nearly all of our investigators were "on vacation". For some reason or another, they weren't able to meet with us. Despite this, we pressed forward for many successful experience.

The first was Monday afternoon, not long after emailing all of you. The week before, while flossing my teeth, one of my fillings fell out. Unfortunately, I couldn't leave it in such a condition till I go home, so the result was going to a dentist in the Philippines. Now- the Philippines is a wonderful place, but since I hate going to the dentist at home, going in the Philippines was a rather unappealing p-day activity. But I went, and all is well. The hole in my tooth is refilled and no new ones have formed yet.

The next big success was Wednesday when we had Zone Conference. I suppose it wasn't really a success on my part, I didn't do much to make it amazing, but it was a really good zone conference none-the-less. We learned about making sure to always be focused on our Purpose as missionaries, which is to help others to come closer to Christ by receiving the Restored Gospel. It was just a wonderful day.

The last big success was a compiled success through the whole week. As missionaries, we like to work with the members from the ward or branch we are assigned to. This helps those we are teaching to realize that the church isn't just a bunch of Americans. It also helps us to become more familiar with the area. This week, many of the people who normally work with us were really busy. I really felt Heavenly Father's help throughout the week, however, as those who were able to work with us were also those people who best helped the people we are teaching. It was just a good week, I like good weeks.

Palangga kita kang Dios.

3 Nephi 9:21-22

February 12, 2012

"Behold, I have come unto the world to bring redemption unto the world, to save the world from sin.
"Therefore, whoso repenteth and cometh unto me as a little child, him will I receive, for of such is the kingdom of God. Behold, for such I have laid down my life, and have taken it up again; therefore repent, and come unto me ye ends of the earth, and be saved."

This is one of the passages I came across in my study this week. Christ himself is speaking to the people of ancient America. It's much like many passages throughout the Book of Mormon and New Testament. This passage really is a personal invitation from Christ to come unto him and receive the kingdom of God.

What struck me as I read was the timing of this particular invitation. As recorded in the Book of Mormon, the people of ancient America experience three days of darkness coinciding with the time that Christ was in the tomb. After Christ's resurrection, the darkness went away. Sometime after, Christ comes, as a resurrected being, and ministers to the people. The quoted verse comes just at the end of the time period of darkness. He is not yet there, but his voice is heard throughout the land. I realized as I read that this particular invitation occurred just days after that great atoning sacrifice that Christ made for all who have and ever will live on earth.

He states that for us he has laid down his life. For us he has taken it up again, to rise from the grave and become an immortal and perfected being. He did all this so that we might repent and turn to him and also be made perfect. Christ tells us this mere days after he laid down his life and maybe mere moments after he had taken it up again. He died for us and he lives for us, and from the moment he began to live again he was once again inviting us to come unto him and receive all the blessings that our Father in Heaven wants to give to us.

Caring!

February 5, 2012


This week, I really learned about caring. What does it mean and how do we show people we care. I have a close friend who loves to tell me that he remembered (be it my birthday, something I said, etc) because he cares. Of course, remembering something is a vital part of caring about someone. Yet as much as I love me friend, I've realized there is so much more to caring than just remembering. We often remember someone, think of someone, even say a silent prayer for them. As wonderful as these silent acts are, sometimes an individual needs most to know that someone cares.

Last week we visited a member who hasn't been feeling well, just a quick stop by to check up on her. We found her lying on her couch, feeling too sick to make it upstairs to her bed. As we spent time talking to her and just being with her, she told us how she had been praying that someone would stop by just so she wouldn't be alone. In that moment, she felt that we cared and that she was important. I think back on that moment and wonder what would have happened if we had merely remembered her, thought about her a little, and hoped that she was okay. Would she have received the comfort that she needed that day, alone in her house feeling like no one remembered her?

How often do we hear the stories? Those on the brink of suicide, those brought to their knees by life's challenges, those who need nothing more than to know that they are remembered. Their lives are changed and uplifted by someone who did more than remembered, someone who chose to act. It doesn't take much to change a life: a quick visit, a phone call, a letter or email. Through today's technology, the options are nearly endless. My invitation for you this week is to show someone you care. I know you, you're wonderful at remembering those you love and spend you time with. But please, do more than remember, show them you care.

Huwag lang marumduman, himuon!

Wow- It's February Now

February 5, 2012

Hello! How are you this week? My week has been pretty good. Sadly, however, it also means another week and another month are over. One less week as a missionary. As my mission winds down, I become more and more grateful for the time I have left. In the past week, I opened my last bottle of vitamins, started using my last toothbrush, and realized that I officially only have 100 days left as a missionary. It just gets faster and faster as the end gets closer. Every night I go to bed thankful that I get to wake up tomorrow and keep doing missionary work. So- here are just two things from the week that is over that I want to share, something I experienced and something I learned.

One of the families we've been visiting regularly is the Agsunod Family. The mother and children were baptized in October and we've been helping the father to prepare so that he can join his family as members of the church and they can begin preparations to go to the temple and be sealed as a family forever. His current goal is to be baptized this March 3rd and he is really excited about it. We last visited them on Friday, and for some reason, he just wasn't in the mood to give the closing prayer. Unfortunately for him, Resli gave the opening prayer, which meant she got to pick who gave the closing prayer and she picked him. We got down to pray and he turned to me and said "Ikaw lang, ako sa deson" (You just do it, I'll do it next time). To this I responded "indi, ikaw and ginpili, ako so deson" (no, you were the one picked, I'll pray next time). I folded my arms, closed my eyes and waited for him to pray. We sat in silence for a bit when suddenly Brother Agsunod said "Kun hindi ikaw magpray, hindi kayo umuwi" (If you don't pray, you can't go home). This statement was so unexpected, we all burst out laughing. We continued to discuss the issue for a while when Loui, the youngest, decided he would just pray. We decided that we would both have to pray next time since we already both said we would.

I've learned something really interesting this week, something that I've really needed to learn. I was reading through the January issue of the Liahona (an international magazine published by the church). The article I read was titled "Leadership the Lord's way." This article really was a much needed answer to a prayer. For the past several weeks, I've felt like I'm not doing well enough and I've had trouble recognizing and measuring my progress as a missionary. I knew that I hadn't been given any high leadership position, we have no special awards to help us know if we are excelling at anything compared to others. I only could compare myself with what I was seeing in others, which we all know is not the most effective or uplifting method of determining individual progression. I was having trouble measuring myself, not knowing how to do it and as a result, not seeing any progress. This was causing me to feel that I really hadn't progressed much. As I read this article, I came to discover why I was struggling. In life, progress is measured by what we are given. If we work hard and study and improve in school, we are given a good grade at the end of the semester. If we are diligent and effective in the work place, we have a pay raise or a promotion. If we are persistent in our exercise program we are able to measure our increased running speed or decreased weight. In general, as we progress in life, we have easy to see results. This is how we come to determine if we are progressing. When it comes to spiritual progression, however, there is no grade, no pay raise, no weight loss. The lack of these physical measurements makes it difficult to recognize one's personal progression. I discovered that this really was my problem. I was feeling like I hadn't progressed because no one gave me an A+ in life. What I needed to realize is that there is no A+ to earn. I don't need an A+ to be doing well. I also realized that I'm measuring my progress as a missionary while I'm still a missionary. I compare today to yesterday and expect to see great changes when this isn't really reasonable. When I go home, when I'm no longer a missionary, I'll be able to better remember who I was when I left and be able to compare me-after-the-mission to me-before-the-mission, a difference of 18 months. Progress over 18 months is much easier to see than progress in 24 hours. It's like watching a tree grow, I can't expect to notice how much thicker the trunk is tomorrow, but I can next year.

Amat-amat lang ang kabuhi.

Palangga ko Kamo!

Birthdays!

January 29, 2012


This week has been filled with birthdays, which has made it very fun and exciting. The members here love inviting us over for their birthdays. In the Philippines, birthdays are usually just celebrated with lots of food and the whole family coming over. As part of the church family, and convinced that we aren't eating enough, they make sure we always come. Here are the highlights of the week:

Monday: My companion's birthday. We scheduled a FHE with the branch relief society president which was actually a surprise party for her. It was way fun and a lot more people showed up than we thought would.

Tuesday: Sister Grace's Birthday and Sister Salazar's Birthday. I also taught in District Meeting that morning, so I enjoyed the day as a short break from stress before we started planning for an activity we were in charge of for Saturday and a lesson for church on Sunday. We visited the Salazar family (forgetting that it was Sister's birthday) and got large plates full of food as our reward. We ended our day by going over to Grace's house for a big dinner and some time to talk with their family. We felt very full by the time we got home.

Wednesday: It wasn't anyone's birthday. We did do exchanges however (when you switch companions with the other missionary companionship in the house) and I got to be companions with my MTC companion again! It was fun and brought back lots of memories from days in the training center.

Thursday:We did weekly planning which lasted much longer than it should have. We spent a lot of the time talking with the other sisters about how we can all work together to really help the branch to progress.

Friday was AMAZING: we headed out for the day and our first 4 lessons were all home and waiting for us and excited to learn. We've found a new family who is really excited to learn the gospel. When we got there, the mother came out to meet us and then gathered everyone who was home in the entire compound (large group of houses where everyone is related).

Saturday: We had a Relief Society activity were we, as missionaries, taught the sisters how they can more effectively do visiting teaching (a program of visiting other sisters in the church to help uplift them and share a short spiritual message). We were rewarded for our efforts with Ice Cream!

Sunday: This day was really busy. The missionaries were in charge of teaching the last part of church. We taught about some of the goals the church has for the country this year and how the members can all do their part to make it happen. We also went on splits, this is when my companion and I actually separate and go with ward members so that we can cover more appointments at the same time. We rewarded our temporary companions by going to the Salazar family again because the aunt was having a birthday and they wanted us to come. They had more food there than the first three birthdays combined. We ate till we were full and talked for a while before heading out to a few more appointments and coming home to close a very unusual week.

Happy Birthday (though it may appear that I've left of my typical closing line in Filipino, everyone here just says happy birthday. Even the locals have to think for a while if you ask them what it is in Hiligaynon, or Kinaray-a, or anything else)

Life is sometimes a little crazy

January 22, 2012

Another week has come and gone. End result- I'm still alive!

The week was actually really good, along with being way insane. We've had tons of appointments this week, as well as interviews with our mission president. In addition to this, I had to give a talk in church on Sunday, which stressed me out as always, and I've been trying to finalize lesson plans because I've been asked to give the lesson in district meeting. (a weekly meeting of missionaries to help us improve teaching skill and such- I teach tomorrow and am more than terrified).

One experience I'd love to share about has been teaching Sister Joy. (This is not the same Joy I mentioned several months ago when I was in Oton). At the beginning of the week, Sister Joy had just finished learning about the Restoration of the Gospel. We arrived to teach her the next lesson and the first thing she said to us was "Magpabunyag ako sa Feb 5" (I will be baptized on Feb 5). This is probably the first time I've ever had a relatively new investigator tell me when they were going to be baptized, and it's definitely the first time it's happened without having been invited to be baptized. She's way excited for it though and is willing to have us visit every day so that she can learn everything she needs to know before her baptism. I'm not yet sure if she'll actually be baptized on the date she's given herself, but she's willing to work her hardest to be prepared for that day.

Amo dya ang kabuhi ko kedya, ihamble ko lang kun magbago tana.

ps- palangga ko kamo man.

Transferring?

January 15, 2012

This past Friday was transfer day, and to my great surprise, I didn't transfer. I really felt I would. I'm not totally sure why I felt I would, it's just what I felt. I guess, logically, it made more sense for me to transfer, but the Lord's plan for me doesn't always comply with my logic. This all means that I'm still in San Jose and will be for a good while longer.

To be honest, I'm really not sure what to write about for this week. A lot of it was the same as the last 50+ weeks have been, a lot of it was different. (I suppose you all would rather here about what was different than what was the same). This week was just kinda strange. I spent the first half of it thinking that it would be my last week in San Jose. I said good byes and got myself mentally ready to transfer. The last half of the week was very confusing as the concept of staying slowly settled in my mind and I realized that I was still here. This stark contrast from what I thought would happen to what happened left me feeling unbalanced for the majority of the weekend. Very strange.

Other than that, we had an amazing Area Leadership Training for the entire Philippines. The missionaries were invited so that we could learn what the leaders were learning and all of us could work in unity. The Area Presidency of the Philippines has put together their goals for the country for the year of 2012. The training was amazing. One of the speakers quoted a verse from the bible (can't remember which one and I don't really have time to look it up) that basically said if we have no vision, we will perish. I realized how very true this was. If we don't have an idea of where we want to go, where we can go, where we will go if we are willing to work there, then we'll never get there. If we aren't going anywhere, we are perishing. At least in the sense that this life is so that we can learn and grow and become something great; if we aren't doing that, we aren't really living. I suppose this might be one reason why I'm so confused right now. I thought my work here was done and that it was my time to move on to something else. I suddenly learned that I'm not meant to grow that way just now. The vision I had for myself disappeared, and I really did feel that sense of perishing that comes from having nothing to look towards. So, I'm in the process of figuring out what more I need to do. What is the vision the Lord has for me that requires me to be in San Jose? What is the new vision that I can have for this transfer. Maybe, when I figure that out, life will make a lot more sense.

Natudlukan na ito.

Getting Sick

January 8, 2012

This Thursday was a little unique compared to most Thursdays. Normally, Thursday morning starts with personal study, then we have weekly planning, lunch, and head out to work. I didn't really do any of that this week. At least not on Thursday. I woke up sick, and despite trying my best, had to lay back down about half way through personal study and didn't really get out of bed for the rest of the morning. I stayed home for the day with another sister who was also sick, while my companion and her's went out to work. Around noon I started to feel well enough that I didn't want to just lay in bed and do nothing, but I was still not feeling well enough to do much. So, I decided to finish reading Jesus the Christ, by James E. Talmage. I have been working on this book for quite a while now, it's not one of those books you can read quickly. However, between the hours of noon and three, I managed to finally finish it!

The opportunity I had to finish reading this book gave me a great opportunity to reflect on all that Christ has done for us. My reading took my through the last week of his life, his death, resurrection, and what he has done since then. I know that he suffered for us, and not just for our sins. He suffered every sin and every temptation. He suffered the punishment for these sins. He even experienced every illness, heartache, and trial that we face in this life. And he did all of this for us, so that we might have comfort through our sorrows, and help through our challenges. He suffered so that he might understand us perfectly and, therefore, know perfectly what we need in our times of trouble. My "day off" provided me with the opportunity to really reflect on all that he has done for us and remember again how great his love is for us.

I know that not all of you who will read this are Latter-day-saints, maybe not all of you are even Christian. But no matter who you are or what you believe, I want you to know that Heavenly Father loves you, he loves you so perfectly that he sent his son, Jesus Christ, here to earth for you. We don't have to walk through life alone. It's hard, yes, that's what it's meant to be. But someone has walked to path before us and is willing to walk it again with us if we will but choose to keep walking.

Palangga Ko Kamo!

Happy New Year 2012!

January 1st 2012

Another year has come and gone. It just doesn't feel like it's 2012. It doesn't feel like it's been long enough. I think part of it may be that the seasons are so subtle, time feels faster because there is no visual change in plants or weather to point it out. Whether or not it feels like it, it's 2012; nothing can change that fact. A few facts that do arise from this one fact:

I've lived in the Philippines for an entire year. I can no longer respond "Next year Pa" (still next year) when people ask me when I'm going home. Strange.

So- now to explain the picture. This picture is my super awesome visual for a Family Home Evening we taught last week. (Yes, I made it myself, with the help of my companion). Family Home Evening, for those of you who don't know, is a program of the church. Basically, it's just an opportunity for a family to gather together, play games, have a spiritual lesson, and be strengthened by each other. As missionaries, we are often invited to participate and usually give the lessons. My companion and I happened to read the same chapter, Alma 43, that morning during our personal study sessions, and we both commented on the contrast of preparation between the two classes of people, so this is what we taught.

There are the Lamanites, the black figure, and the Nephites, the white. These two groups of people are about to go to war with each other. The first, the Lamanites, have such a great desire that they grab their weapons and march upon the Nephites. The Nephites have a deeper desire to make sure they win as protection for their families. They know the Lamanites are coming, but they take the time to prepare, grabbing armor, shields, and swords. The number of Nephites was much smaller than that of the Lamanites, yet due to their preparation, they win.

There are many lessons that can be learned from this simple experience. The one we focused on was how important our preparation is in connection with our desire. Most people have desires, and those desires are often good. We desire to finish school, raise good families, receive salvation, and the list goes on. Yet what can those desires really do for you? We could take a Lamanite student who has a desire to do well on a test, grabs his pencil, and heads into the testing room. We can compare him with a Nephite student who recognizes the importance of the test, and equally filled with a desire to do well, sits and studies before jumping in. Who probably experienced more success. Our desires, standing alone, can't do a whole lot. It's when we allow those desires to push us to prepare that we experience the blessings. If we look at it from a religious aspect. Many people have a desire to go to church, Sunday morning rolls around and several people get up saying that they will go to church. Some get busy and distracted, others prepare to go. They all have the same desire, yet only part actually attends church, and only that part receives the blessings of having attended. Heavenly Father doesn't bless us just because we have good desires, we won't get to heaven just because we want to be there. We have to walk the path that will take us there.

ihanda ninyo agud magkaara sang mga handum ninyo.

PS - From her family letter about how she spent her New Year's eve.

We had to be home by 5:00 pm, but we stayed up anyways till 2 am! (not voluntarily, the neighbors had fireworks going until then and my companion and I couldn't sleep, the other companionship slept through it mostly). To celebrate we made lots of food, opened presents (my companion's family has a tradition of opening presents on New Year's so she bought us presents) and I made a batch of magic cookie bars, (the ingredients were from my Christmas package that finally arrived!) they were delicious.

My companion gave me a hair accessory, a bamboo wallet, and a pocket size Book of Mormon. Giving gifts on New Year's Eve is just a tradition of her family as far as I can tell. The bamboo wallet is more like a coin purse or a clutch bag. They make anything/everything out of bamboo!