This past Friday was transfer day, and to my great surprise, I didn't transfer. I really felt I would. I'm not totally sure why I felt I would, it's just what I felt. I guess, logically, it made more sense for me to transfer, but the Lord's plan for me doesn't always comply with my logic. This all means that I'm still in San Jose and will be for a good while longer.
To be honest, I'm really not sure what to write about for this week. A lot of it was the same as the last 50+ weeks have been, a lot of it was different. (I suppose you all would rather here about what was different than what was the same). This week was just kinda strange. I spent the first half of it thinking that it would be my last week in San Jose. I said good byes and got myself mentally ready to transfer. The last half of the week was very confusing as the concept of staying slowly settled in my mind and I realized that I was still here. This stark contrast from what I thought would happen to what happened left me feeling unbalanced for the majority of the weekend. Very strange.
Other than that, we had an amazing Area Leadership Training for the entire Philippines. The missionaries were invited so that we could learn what the leaders were learning and all of us could work in unity. The Area Presidency of the Philippines has put together their goals for the country for the year of 2012. The training was amazing. One of the speakers quoted a verse from the bible (can't remember which one and I don't really have time to look it up) that basically said if we have no vision, we will perish. I realized how very true this was. If we don't have an idea of where we want to go, where we can go, where we will go if we are willing to work there, then we'll never get there. If we aren't going anywhere, we are perishing. At least in the sense that this life is so that we can learn and grow and become something great; if we aren't doing that, we aren't really living. I suppose this might be one reason why I'm so confused right now. I thought my work here was done and that it was my time to move on to something else. I suddenly learned that I'm not meant to grow that way just now. The vision I had for myself disappeared, and I really did feel that sense of perishing that comes from having nothing to look towards. So, I'm in the process of figuring out what more I need to do. What is the vision the Lord has for me that requires me to be in San Jose? What is the new vision that I can have for this transfer. Maybe, when I figure that out, life will make a lot more sense.
Natudlukan na ito.
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