No P

March 4, 2012

...and no mouse either. Both the P key on the keyboard and the left click on the mouse of the computer I'm on don't really want to work. If I want to use either I have to push them really hard two or three (or four) times. It's kinda driving my crazy, so my email might not be as long as normal because I want to stop typing.

Anyways. This week has been pretty good. One of the biggest highlights of the week was the free food! I like free food. But more than the free food, it was the feeling of belonging that really lifted me up. Earlier in the week I met one of the recent converts, Brother Gumban, and his wife who is also a member. I could tell within minutes that they really loved the missionaries who baptized Brother. At the end of the lesson, they invited us to come over for lunch on Sunday after church. The lunch was fun and simple. I know that I will never replace those missionaries who initially started teaching brother, but I felt like the family really has a desire to make me a part of their lives too. They are so sweet and loveable.

The next was later Sunday evening. It was really an answered prayer. I've been praying and trying to get to know all the members in the ward. A few nights ago, after an appointment cancelled on us, I felt like I should have my companion take me to the nearest member, not even knowing who it was. I was introduced to Sister Jasmine. Sunday afternoon, Sister Jasmine called and invited us to dinner with them and a few other members in the ward. We went to the restaurant of Jasmine's sister-in-law, sister Annie. It was closed, so I felt super special that we were the only ones there. Just one table was still set up and it was completely covered in Sister Annie's specialties. She made me mashed potatoes and Filet Mignon wrapped in bacon, it was amazing. Best of all, I had the opportunity to meet and really get to know more of the members.

I've been struggling a little the past week. I know I don't have much time left and I see that there is lots of work to do in this area. I've been feeling like I need to completely set aside who I am (someone who prefers not to talk much and enjoys just being by herself most of the time) in order to do what I feel needs to be done. I've gotten to know most members as I've had companions who are good at talking to members and I can just come along and listen to them talk. I don't have enough time to do that. I've been wondering and even doubting if I could do all I need to do in the short time I have. I've been wondering if I could spend three months NOT being myself. In church, however, I was reminded that Heavenly Father doesn't ask us not to be ourselves. He asks us to be our best selves. I realized that the person I am may not typically talk to very many people, but I do talk a lot to those I love and am close to. I don't have to learn how to be someone else, all I have to do is learn how to love the members as our Father in Heaven does and I'll be able to be myself around them- the talkative version of myself.

Kaya Ko!