Lost in My Head

I've become lost, somewhere inside myself, somewhere in my head.  While wandering amidst the curves and crevices of my mind, between plans for the day, a half-written poem, calculus, and concern for a friend, I slowed down just enough for my secret to catch up to me- I don't know why I'm wandering.

I don't know why I'm wandering. Was I looking for something or running from something?  Is there a thought I'm trying desperately to remember, or a memory I'm striving diligently to forget?  Did a plan fall through and I just haven't readjusted yet, or has a goal been reached and I'm still rolling on the momentum? Regardless...

Due to my discovery, I've ceased strolling through trees of memory or checking on recently planted seedlings of hope and have instead sat in the shade of uncertainty while watching the clouds billow till they block out the sky.  I'm lost, not because I don't know where I am (though I'll be honest, I'm not quite sure) but because I'm suddenly unsure of where I was going?

As I seek input from the world outside my skin, I see your desire to help me.  I recognize that you are outside of the maze in which I've wrapped myself.  You can see the turn I'm missing, you can lead me to the end! And I yearn to rely on you to save me.  Then I realize, though you can see what I might be missing, you don't know what I'm missing. And I can't tell you, for I'm not quite sure.  So I step back inside my skin... feeling alone...right beside you.

Childish instinct blames you for not helping, at least until reason steps in and explains, leaving me internally conflicted and no less lost.  I begin to despair.  And finally, I recall the Rock that never moves but can always be found.  Seeking peace, I turn to my Father in prayer.  He knows why I was wandering, but more importantly, He knows where I ought to be.  And He has promised to help me get there.

Now, I need only get up and out of the shade...