Dreams

For a week now I have waited to wake up from this nightmare.  As I begin moving from what would have been our apartment, as I go day after day without seeing him, the fact that this is my reality is finally sinking in.

This fact makes the previous 9 months of my life feel like a dream.  Now - instead of wishing I could wake up, I wish I could fall back asleep and just keep dreaming.  Like Cobb and Mal in Inception, just fall asleep and make the world into exactly what I want.

I went through today in a haze.  Inefficient sleep and insufficient meals are finally catching up with me (my two stress-habits which really only make a stressful situation worse).  I often found myself, having just finished up a task, staring numbly at an imaginary Mirror of Erised, thinking of what my life would have been like today if I had never woken up from my dream.

However, while staring into the Mirror of Erised, one must recall Dumbledore's warning: "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."  I am forgetting how to live and sometimes...I don't want to remember.  But the dream is over and I need to learn to live again because a bright and beautiful reality await me.