Oceans

February 20, 2011

This week's scripture reading took me back to Ether (the book in the Book of Mormon that my "pile of rocks" blog was about). I reread through the first few chapters, and continued on to read about the journey of the People of Jared across the ocean.

I've always heard lots about the faith of the Brother of Jared. He had enough faith to take a pile of rocks to the Lord so that they could produce light. But I never really thought about the faith of the people he was with. After these rocks were lit, they were placed in barges that are described as being like two dishes placed on top of each other (I've always imagined them kinda UFO shaped). The people then filled them with all that they had, climbed in, and closed the door. They had been promised that the Lord would provide wind to guide them to the promised land. They left behind everything they knew for the unknown. Not only that- but they had no method of guiding themselves. These vessels weren't boats with sails or oars- they were more like giant seed pods, carried by the currents of the ocean.

The journey took nearly a year. I wonder sometimes how often they opened up the door to let fresh air in and simply stared out at the ocean. The view would have been the exact same for months. But there was no turning back, no alternate route, they just had to trust that the Lord would fulfill his promise. I wonder if any of them ever thought about what would happen to them. If any of them ever doubted. How many of them feared they would die in the ocean, never seeing land again?

On a somewhat related note- as I filled a bucket of water for laundry I had a funny thought. Life is filled with obstacles, which for the moment I'm relating to puddles of water. We are each given a bucket to help us through these puddles. Some are very small- we just have to step over them. Others need to be removed, so we use our bucket to scoop up the water and move it. I've felt blessed my whole life to have a bucket large enough that these obstacles were easy to overcome. I come up to a large puddle and set to work moving it, it's never taken me very long.

Speaking Hiligaynon hasn't followed this pattern. Suddenly, I'm not facing a puddle, but an ocean. My handy bucket appears utterly useless. But I figured I would trust the Lord to help me and do my best. I started to fill my bucket and attempt to move the ocean. I've become discouraged in the past two months at the lack of progress I've been seeing. The water I put behind me just flows back into the ocean. I've become exhausted with the effort and frustrated with the attempt. I kept thinking I just needed to work faster and harder. If I did this- somehow the Lord would help me to overcome what I was having so much trouble with.

The story of the people of Jared has changed my view point. Maybe I was given a large bucket for another reason. It isn't just useful for quickly moving puddles. Just like the vessels the people of Jared climbed into, it isn't a traditional form of transportation. But I think I've finally realized that I'm not meant to move the ocean- but rather to accept it and cross it. I can't see where I'm meant to go or what awaits me on the other side. I see no way of how I will get there, I've not been given a paddle. Yet I will climb into my bucket which is just big enough for me and I will trust the Lord. I can learn much more about the ocean by being in it than by picking it up one bucket at time.

So here goes nothing. My journey starts today. In regards to how my new perspective on the problem is going to change my approach- I'm not sure. Having a fresh perspective, however, makes it look different. I can't stand on the side, picking at it, for no matter how fast I work it's not fast enough. I have to jump in to the middle with everything I have, and know that the Lord will make sure I make it to the other side. He has not called me to the field to abandon me in a foreign country. He has called me to his work and he is with me every step of the way. I just need to walk along with him- even if I have to walk across water to do it.